Prohombres de España: El Niño de la Moña

Continuamos con la serie de biografías de periodicidad arbitraria con las que esta página trata de homenajear a los grandes personajes de la historia de España, aquellos que con su labor en cualquier ámbito han conseguido engrandecer el nombre de una nación que se llama Tierra de Conejos, tarea siempre harto difícil.

PROHOMBRES DE ESPAÑA (II). JUAN MOHÍNEZ «EL NIÑO DE LA MOÑA»: RENOVADOR DEL TOREO

Juan Mohínez nace en 1947 en Alcolea, una pedanía de Córdoba. Inconformista desde el principio, se niega a llorar tras el parto, por lo que al médico no le queda otro remedio que golpear sus nalgas con una mesita de noche del hospital. Aficionado desde muy pequeño a la tauromaquia, embestía todo lo que se ponía a su paso, desde puertas y cubos de basura a paredes o ancianas entradas en carnes. Sus padres, ante la virulencia de su vocación de toro, reconducen la afición de su hijo mediante cariño, sobornos, chantajes y diversas modalidades de capones y mascones, con el objetivo de lograr que al menos fuese torero.
Con poco más de quince años, Mohínez abandona el hogar paterno para hacerse un hueco en los ruedos. Sale a la calle con una maleta y vestido de corto, tan corto tan corto que se le ve el testículo izquierdo, por lo que pasa un par de años en una cárcel franquista por escándalo público. Inventa un pase revolucionario entre rejas, el pase de la muerte, pero poco después se da cuenta de que ya estaba inventado y de que en los toros ni se emplea balón ni son once contra once, lo que lo sume en la depresión.
Justo al salir de la trena, y toreando de salón de nuevo en el hogar paterno, inventa el pase del tren, consistente en pasar por delante del toro simulando el movimiento del ferrocarril mientras se hace chucu-chucu-chú. Lo lleva a la práctica en una becerrada, el toro muere de risa y Mohínez recibe una suculenta oferta para formar parte del equipo del bombero torero, aunque la rechaza por querer ser el nuevo califa y competir por tal honor con El Cordobés.
En su primera novillada, Mohínez improvisa el salto del grillo, una variación del salto de la rana que incluye una cogida tremebunda y recuperación de cinco meses en el hospital. Esta osadía le vale su apodo, ya que en los momentos que pasa en el aire gracias a la embestida del cuadrúpedo se le cae la montera y sus largos y ensortijados cabellos dibujan en el viento un gesto lleno de valentía y donaire, como saludando al tendido (sic del semanario de información taurina Hay Cuernos y Cuernos, 30-5-1966). Sus bucles también dan origen a una inmerecida fama de homosexual que combatirá con sonadas borracheras, por lo que la Moña de El Niño adquiere desde entonces al menos tres sentidos. Poco después perfecciona el salto del grillo en su primera novillada con caballos, ya que sólo pasa mes y medio en el hospital.
El Niño de la Moña recibe la alternativa por compasión y en su primera corrida corta dos orejas en el primer toro, pero lo hace con las banderillas por unos problemas de miopía, astigmatismo y presbicia, lo que no fue entendido por los puristas y sume al Niño de la Moña en el ostracismo social.
Tres años después, harto de su trabajo como maquillador de muertos, conseguido por enchufe, el Niño de la Moña decide intentar reanudar su carrera en México. Por falta de fondos, trata de llegar al país azteca con su apoderado en kayak para dos personas sin timonel, por lo que acaba en Indonesia. Sin embargo, este suceso le sirve para salir por imbécil en la prensa y consigue su oportunidad en la plaza de México D.F. Inquieto siempre por su espíritu innovador, El Niño de la Moña introduce lo que se conocerá desde entonces como toreo minimalista. Desdeña el capote y lo sustituye por un pañuelo azul. Recibe al primer toro de rodillas y de espaldas, incitándolo con el trocito de tela. Pero el animal resulta ser maximalista y empitona al Niño por el recto, acabando – por este orden- con sus hemorroides, con sus problemas de estreñimiento y con su carrera.
Después de su recuperación, Mohínez se percata de que ha sido vilmente manipulado por sus progenitores, retoma su vocación inicial de toro, se coloca un casco de vikingo comprado en una juguetería y se retira a vivir al campo tras casarse con una vaca lechera. Pero ahí quedaba su renovación de la fiesta nacional.

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